the dolls of love ...

Hainilis sofhia has a boyfren who grew up with her ..his name is carl zafran ..sofhia always throught of his as a fren until last year ,when they went for a trip from a club ,Sofhia found she is fall in love with Carl ..

Before that trip is over ,she took a step and confussed her love for him .. and soon ,each other different ways .. she always concentrated on him only ,but to him ,mybe she was just another girl ..

‘‘ Carl ,do u want to go watch a movie ? ’’ sofhia asked ..

‘‘ I can’t ’’

“ why ? u need to study at home ? ” she felt disappointement grabbing her ..

“ no , I am going to meet a fren .. ” he is always like that ,he meet a girls in front of sofhia ,like it was nothing ..to him , sofhia was just a girlfren ..the word “  LOVE  ” only came out from her mouth ..since she knew him , she had never heard him say “ I LOVE U ” before ..to them ,there waren’t any anniversaries at all ..he didn’t say anything from the 1^st day and it continued till 100 days ….200 days …..everyday , before they say gudbye , he would just hand her a doll ,everyday ,without fail ..she don’t know why .. then one days ~

Sofhia : um , Carl , I ……..

Carl : what ? don’t grad ,just say …..

Sofhia : I love u ……

Carl : …..u … um , just take this doll and go home ..

That was how he ignored sofhia’s three words and handed her a doll ..then he disappeared ,like he was running away ..the dolls she received room him everyday ,filled her room ,one by one ..there were many ……

Then one day come ,her sweet 17^th year old birthday party ,when she got up in the morning ,she pictured a party with him ,an stranded herself in her room ,waiting for his doll ..but …breakfast passed , lunch passed , dinner passed ,and soon the sky was dark ..he still didn’t call ..it was already tiring to look at the phone anymore ..then around next morning ,he suddenly ca;;ed her and woke her from sleep ..he told her to come out of the house ..still ,sofhia felt joy she ran out happily ..

Sofhia : Carl …

Carl : “ here..take this …. ” again ,he handed her a little doll ..

Sofhia : what this ?

Carl : I didn’t give it to u yesterday ,so I am giving it u now ..im going home now ,bye ..wait , wait ! do u know what today is ?

Sofhia : today ? hahh ?

she felt so sad ,she thought he would remember her birthday ..he turn around and walked away like nothing had happen ..then she shouted … “wait”

carl : do u have something to say ?

sofhia : tell me ,.. tell me u love me !

carl : what ?!

sofhia : tell me ,tell me now !  she put her pathetic   self behind and clung on to him ..but he just said simple cold words and left ..

carl : I don’t want to say ,that I love someone so easily ,if u are desperate to hear it ,then find someone else ..

that was what he said ..then he ran off ..sofhia’s  legs felt numb and she collapsed to the ground ..he didn’t to say it easily ..how could he ..she felt that , mybe he is not the right guy for her ..

after that day ,she stranded herself at home crying ,just crying and crying ..he didn’t call her ,although she is waiting ..he just continued handing her a little doll every  morning outside her house ..after a month ,she got herself together and went to school ..but what made the pain resurface was that ~ she saw him on a street with another girl ..he had a smile on his face ,one that he never showed her ..as she touched the doll ,she ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in her room ,and tears fell “why did he give these to me” ..those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls ..in a fit anger ,she threw the dolls around ..then suddenly ,the phone was rang ..it was him ..he told anne to come out to the bus stop outside her house ..she tried to calm down and walked to the bus stop ..she kept reminding herself that she is going to forget him ,that ,it’s going to end ..then he came into her sight ,holding a big doll ..

Carl : sofhia ,I thought u were pissed ,u really came ? sofhia  couldn’t help hating him ,acting like nothing had happen and joking around ..soon , he held out the doll as usual ..

Sofhia : I don’t need it !

Carl : what ! but why ???

Sofhia grabbed the doll fom his hands and threw it on the road ..

Sofhia : I don’t need this doll , I don’t need it anymore !! I don’t  want to see a person like u again !

Sofhia spitted out all the words tht were inside her ..but unlike other days ,his eye very shaking ..

Im sorry ……”he opologized in a tiny voice ..then he walked over to the road to pick up the doll ..

Sofhia : why are u just picking up the doll ? just throw it away !!

But he ignored her nd just went to pickthe doll ..then ~

Honnkkk ~ honnkkk ~ with a loud honk ,a big truck was heading towards him .  “Carl !!!!  move ! move away ! move ! ” she shouted ..

But he didn’t hear sofhia ,he squatted down and picked up the doll .. “ Carl , move ! the truck ….not finish she said her words ……    honnkkk !!  “ BOOM ! ” that sound so terrifying ..

That how he want away from sofhia ,that how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to her ..after that day ,she had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him ..and after spending two months like a crazy person ,she took out the dolls ..those were the only gift he left since the day they  started  going out .. sofhia remembered the days she spent him ans started to count the days ,when they were in love ..

“ one …two ..three .. four ..five ..four hundred eight four ………… “that was how she started to count the dolls … “four hundred and eight four ,four hundred and eighty five …….. “ it all ended with 485 dolls ..

Then she started cry again with a doll in her arms ,she hugged it tightly ,the suddenly ……

“ I love u ~” “ I love u ~”

She droped the dolls ,shocked .

‘ I  …lo …ve… u … ~

She picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach . “ I love u” “ I love u”

It cant be !she pressed all the dolls ’ stomach as it pilled on the side .. “ I love u ~ I love u ~ I love u ~” those word came out non-stop ..i love u ,why didn she realize that ..that his heart was always by her side ,protecting her “why didn’t I realize that he love me this much … “she took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach ,that was the last doll ,the one that fell on the road ..it had his blood stain on it ..the voice came out ,the own that she was missing so much ….

“sofhia ,do u know what today is ? we’ve loving each other for 486 days ..do u know what 486 is ? I couldn’t say I love u ..um ..since I was too shy ..if I forive me and take this doll ,I will say that I love u ..everyday ..till I die .. sofhia ..i love u so much .. I love u …..”

The tears came flowing out of her .why ? why ? she asked god ,”why do I only know about all this now ? he can’t be by my side ,but he loved me until his last minute …for that ..and for that reason , to me it became courage to live a beautiful life ..

                                                                                                                                                                                          With love :

                                                                                                                                                                 Yasmin lina yusoff